Patience is a virtue and they say good things come to those who wait. So I did. I waited, for something totally different of course. Then so very unexpectedly came exactly what I'd been waiting for, but in a different package. Everything about it seems too good to be true.
It's almost like I'm channeling Charles Hamilton "I got so used to trying to make do, I feel like I'm cheating when I'm faced with a breakthrough". Or maybe Lupe put it better: "Normally I don't care for it, don't even be lookin' for like, like that, then there go it" And if I can just keep my pride in line, maybe it'll work out fine.
See, that soldier inside won't let anything just ride. Sometimes I think she'd kill me herself before she let anyone leave a mark on me. For a while that's been just fine with me too, she does her job well, and never let my guards fail. But lately, me and the warden have been bumping heads. We don't quite see eye to eye, or better yet, we don't see I to I. So she's mad, because she spent years building up these walls, which I must admit are marvelous works of art, and here I go changing up the plan by chipping away at them from the inside like Andy in Shawshank Redemption. It took him years to escape from that prison and I'm sure the wall of that cell was no where near as immaculately made as the ones she's built for me.
"It's safe in here! I made it safe for you! I keep you safe!" That's usually her argument when she catches me trying to peek over the top of the walls or reach through the bars of the gates. Then I say "You're right, I've never needed a Band Aid, but how am I supposed to grow from in here?" that's when she just looks at me like I'm the dumbest individual she's ever encountered. Upon that look of disapproval, I usually take a running start and try to jump the gate, and I've come short every time stopped dead in my tracks. She leaves me to reflect on my failed attempt, the entire time she's leaving she mumbles everything from how crazy I must be, to how ungrateful I've become, but it always ends in a silent sob over how she just doesn't want to watch me get hurt. That tends to discourage my escape attempts for a while, but not for too long. She loves me and that's why she does it and I know that. It's not like I want to go out there and get hurt. No, it's not that at all. I just want to go out there and live.
It's almost like I'm channeling Charles Hamilton "I got so used to trying to make do, I feel like I'm cheating when I'm faced with a breakthrough". Or maybe Lupe put it better: "Normally I don't care for it, don't even be lookin' for like, like that, then there go it" And if I can just keep my pride in line, maybe it'll work out fine.
See, that soldier inside won't let anything just ride. Sometimes I think she'd kill me herself before she let anyone leave a mark on me. For a while that's been just fine with me too, she does her job well, and never let my guards fail. But lately, me and the warden have been bumping heads. We don't quite see eye to eye, or better yet, we don't see I to I. So she's mad, because she spent years building up these walls, which I must admit are marvelous works of art, and here I go changing up the plan by chipping away at them from the inside like Andy in Shawshank Redemption. It took him years to escape from that prison and I'm sure the wall of that cell was no where near as immaculately made as the ones she's built for me.
"It's safe in here! I made it safe for you! I keep you safe!" That's usually her argument when she catches me trying to peek over the top of the walls or reach through the bars of the gates. Then I say "You're right, I've never needed a Band Aid, but how am I supposed to grow from in here?" that's when she just looks at me like I'm the dumbest individual she's ever encountered. Upon that look of disapproval, I usually take a running start and try to jump the gate, and I've come short every time stopped dead in my tracks. She leaves me to reflect on my failed attempt, the entire time she's leaving she mumbles everything from how crazy I must be, to how ungrateful I've become, but it always ends in a silent sob over how she just doesn't want to watch me get hurt. That tends to discourage my escape attempts for a while, but not for too long. She loves me and that's why she does it and I know that. It's not like I want to go out there and get hurt. No, it's not that at all. I just want to go out there and live.