Swimming
Something I can do but tend to avoid
Because it’s one of those things that makes me feel close to death
Nevertheless I jumped from the boat
Into the pristine blue green waters of the Caribbean Sea
Admiring the life that teams just feet below the surface
I relax
Allowing the gentle waves to carry me wherever they will
I resurface and I am in awe
I don’t know this place
I’ve never been here before
I may never see it again
But it does not feel unfamiliar
I duck below the surface again
Never before have I felt so comfortable while being completely surrounded and submerged
Back on the boat it takes me several minutes to realize that I’m calm
Completely calm
My heart is not racing
I’m not ever so dewy in a stress induced sweat
The thoughts in my mind do not bounce off each wall.
They are still
I am calm
I am at peace
I try to recall the last time I’ve felt so at ease
It’s been too long to conjure that memory
I wait for it
The moment when I have to remind myself to breathe
It doesn’t come
I cry tears of joy
Tears of relief
Because I realize I’ve left my anxiety in the sea.